SOS Save Our Sanity
by strayflame
Summary: YGO cast are on a deserted island. Kinda like Survivor show. But funny...hopefully. Some character bashing. More detail if you click on the story.
1. The Arrival

S.O.S. : Save Our Sanity

Segment 1: The Arrival

Ollo! A'ight tis my second fic and I'm goin for a humorous/random approach. So yeah...well my other fic has some humor, too, but this will focus mainly on humor...ok rambling...Right so this shall be based on that show Survivor...sort of...I don't watch it but I've seen a few episodes with my mom so don't expect anything to be the same XP Rambling again...a'ight read and enjoy and review please. Any comments are welcome, so long as you don't swear at me.

P.S. I don't own YuGiOh...I wish though...

P.S.S. There's some OOCness in here...I got things to say so be prepared. T.Y.

P.S.S.S. Some character bashing, mainly Tea and Serenity. Sorry Tea/Serenity fans.

Three choppers fly over the ocean heading for a small island in the middle of nowhere. Inside chopper 1is a camera crew and Pegasus hanging out the side. The camera points to the other two choppers, both of which are flying below chopper 1...

PEGASUS: Hello peoples of all...places...talking to person on other side of earpiece Was that ok? Ok...speaks back into microphone And welcome to our first season of S.O.S.: Save Our Sanity! MUWAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh sorry...For those of you who are not familiar with S.O.S., eight lucky contestants are chosen to compete in the most outrageous, most insane, most...er...something that doesn't relate to...uh...All right, if you look down below you can see two other choppers, both carrying our lucky victims...I mean contestants hehe Let's give a short intro shall we?

The camera shifts down to chopper 2. On TV sets at viewers' homes, the inside of the chopper can be seen, revealing four people, not including the pilot. Pegasus' voice can be heard...

PEGASUS: Here we can see four our of our eight vic--er...contestants. From our left, we see a young and beautiful woman by the name of Mai Valentine. Mai is not a girl you'd want to mess with. She's got a fiery ambition to win, and she'd do anything TO win! Her hobbies are playing Duel Monsters, wearing only purple clothing and very short skirts, thinking about and flirting with Joey, and changing her voice during "Waking the Dragons" ((i hate her new voice in there xx)). Our next member is Serenity Wheeler. She admires Mai and wants to grow up to be just like her...or her brother...she needs to make up her mind. Serenity likes to follow her brother Joey around all the time, pick flowers, steal candy, and annoy the snot out of people. On the left side of the chopper, we see Tea Gardener, an energetic and optimistic young girl who also annoys the snot out of people ((stabs Tea)). She dreams of becoming a dancer, marrying Yugi Moto, and buying the shortest pants and biggest platfrom shoes she can possibly find. Our fourth contestant is Ishizu Ishtar. Ishizu not only has a super-hard-and-annoying-name-to-type, but a mystical necklace that allows her to foretell the future. Ishizu likes to, well, foretell the furture, protect her brother from his evil alter ego, confuse the pharaoh about his destiny, and bake cakes in sandstorms to pass the time. Will these lovely ladies prevail in our challenge of DOOM! HUH! WILL THEY! Oh sorry again...All right let's see our last four victims! I mean contestants, CONTESTANTS!

Scene switches to the second chopper, where viewers see four boys all crammed together because they got teh smaller chopper...

PEGASUS: Ah, the gentlemen of our lovely contest. From the left we see Marik Ishtar, the younger brother of Ishizu. Marik and his sister were born in Egypt, entrusted with the duty of guarding the pharaoh's tomb. So much for that, huh folks? Marik enjoys a good day of controlling people's minds with his millenium rod. He also likes to ride his giant motorcycle and wearing his ridiculous-looking helmet and goggles, hopefully when he is only riding his motorcycle. To his left we see Seto Kaiba, a young man that runs his own corporation, which I plan to one day ruin completely. Did I say that? ahem Kaiba-boy here doesn't like to do anything except fiddle around with his technologies, develop new ways to play duel monsters, and wear super long coats that have secret communicator devices hidden inside of them. Squished on his left side is Bakura Ryou, or Ryou Bakura...let's go with Bakura yeah...Bakura is a shy boy who doesn't talk much. He's a Brit who loves those tasty little crumpits and pastries, plays piano in his spare time, and makes all the fangirls drool with his puppy-eyes. Our eighth and final contestant--hey, I didn't say victim! Do I get a raise now?--Right...our eighth member is Yami...something. Yami is in reality a 5000 year old spirit who once ruled Egypt. He enjoys wearing whatever Yugi Moto wears, be it leather pants or bunny pajamas, yes--bunny pajamas, using about two and a half bottles of gel to keep his hair nice and spikey, and screaming at the top of his lungs when dueling ((wonder if that bothers Dan Green...?)).

Camera turns to Pegasus, who is about to fall out of teh chopper...

PEGASUS: There you have it! Our eight lucky vic--ontest--stants---! We are now about to land! We'll be getting to teh good part soon, folks, so don't go away!

Pegasus can be seen falling from the chopper and disappearing as the camera is pulled to the side. Camera crew can ba heard scremaing. The screen on viewer's televisons go blank, then a stand-by screen appears.

The choppers have landed. Everyone stands outside on the sand, waiting for chopper 1. Chopper 1 finally arrives. A very wet and bruised Pegasus climbs down from the steps, but is eager to begin. Camera men set up; Pegasus prepares himself to begin as well. The contestants are all curious as to why he is wet and has his arm in a sling. The camera is ready and Pegasus goes live...

PEGASUS: Welcome back! We have arrived to the Island of DOOM! MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I mean a deserted island where there are absolutely no inhabitants whatsoever looks back to the contestants I see our lucky eight have made a safe journey here. Let's have them intoduce themselves real quick.

He walks over to Mai and sticks the microphone in her face...

PEGASUS: Why don't you briefly introduce yourself and tell us how you plan to win?

MAI: My name is Mai Valentine and I plan to win by force! If you get in my way, I can assure you no mercy.

PEGASUS: Greeeeeaaaaat! You next, sir.

KAIBA: Seto Kaiba...and get that microphone out of my face! stares evily

PEGASUS: WOAH! Scary...ok you next.

SERENITY: Um, hi. I'm Serenity Wheeler. Um, I've never done anything like this before so, um, I guess that--

PEGASUS: Yeah that's great. All right who are you and what is your quest?

MARIK: Uh, I'm Marik Ishtar and I plan on winning by "not" using my millenium rod to control everyone and make them lose.

PEGASUS: Oo O--K. I don't reall feel like asking everyone's else's name right now so let's just move on.

A guru appears our of nowhere and leads everyone to their huts. There are two huts, one for the girls and one for the boys. The girls enter their hut first, observing the inside. There are four hammocks hanging from the ceiling rafters. There are four wooden tables, one next to each hammock. Lastly there is a small closet in each corner of the hut, and each having one small shelf. The girls' jaws drop at the ugliness and ghettoness of the hut. They walk around, stunned that they have to sleep there.

The guru then leads the boys to their hut. They pass a couple outdoor tables before reaching the hut. The boys walk inside. The hut is identical to the girls'. Joey immediately runs to a hammonk and jumps in, then spins a 360 and falls face-first onto the ground.

After everyone enters their huts and is settled, Pegasus comes back on screen...

PEGASUS: Now that our contestants have settled in, we can spy on them! What's that...? Oh we do that after dark? Ok, gotcha. All right folks! We'll see you tomorrow and give out the first challenge!

Pegasus goes off screen. The camera crew packs everything into their own hut, which is ten times bigger that the other two. Pegasus walks into his room within the hut, plops down onto his king size bed and starts napping. Camera men sneak into his room with a smaller camera and record him snoring and talking to his Bunny-bunny doll.

CAMERA MAN 1: whispering We should put this in after the credits.

CAMERA MAN 2: No way, during every commercial break.

Both leave the room and head for the editing room.

Meanwhile in the girls' hut...

MAI: They expect me to sleep on this! This is an outrage! Where is my lawyer?

ISHIZU: I foresee a change in your future, Mai. Do not be troubled.

MAI: Don't gimme any of that crap! I can take care of myself, thank you.

SERENITY: Please stop fighting! starts crying

TEA: It's all right, Serenity. Hey girls, let's not get into any arguments. We have to work together if we want to make it through this contest.

ISHIZU: She has a point.

MAI: Right, sorry. I haven't had any chocolate for a whole 15 minutes. I miss my chocolate...

GIRLS: 0o;;

SERENITY: So who is sleeping where?

TEA: Well, I can take this one here.

ISHIZU: It matters not to me.

MAI: Well I'm taking this one! And if you have any complaints, you can answer to my boot!

SERENITY: I want this one near the door, I'm afraid of the dark.

TEA: I just noticed we have no windows...

MAI: Good job, captain obvious.

TEA: ----xx

ISHIZU: Wonder how the guys are doing?

Meanwhile in the boys' hut...

JOEY: HAHA! I'm Superman!

MARIK: Joey! Take off that hammock! You look stupid!

SETO: He looks stupid anyway.

YAMI: Seto...!

BAKURA: Um, Joey, you really need to take that off. You're making a fool of yourself.

JOEY: You cannot make me do anything! For I am BATMAN!

MARIK: I thought you were Superman?

JOEY: Well now I'm Batman XP

SETO: thinking Idiot...

MARIK: I heard that.

SETO: Excuse me?

MARIK: I can read your mind with my rod.

SETO: grabs Marik by his shirt Well quit reading my mind before I bash your head in with that rod!

YAMI and BAKURA: 00;; Ok...

JOEY: Fear me! I am Donut Decker! XD

SETO: Someone shoot me...

Join us in our second segment to see what our contestants' goal will be! Mehhhhhhh...


	2. Da Foist Challenge

S.O.S. : Save Our Sanity

Segment 2: Da Foist Challenge

Dude I never thought I'd actually update! I actually got reviews requesting I get another segment up! Well, not many, but enough for me XD Last segment, everyone arrived on the island and some funny stuff happened. What happened? Well if you haven't read segment 1, you need to! Welp...yeah. Enjoy segment 2!

P.S. I don't own YuGiOh or Pokemon...I wish though...

P.S.S. There's some OOCness in here...I got things to say so be prepared. T.Y.

P.S.S.S. Some character bashing, mainly Tea and Serenity. Sorry Tea/Serenity fans.

The camera crew set up their cameras and other equipment as Pegasus gets ready to go live. His hair is in curlers, making it look like he has a big silver afro. His face is covered in that green stuff and has lime slices over his eyes. Camera crew members walk over silently with their small camera...

CAMERA MAN 1: Oh man! This is good stuff!

CAMERA MAN 2: You think we'll get fired if we air this?

CAMERA MAN 1: Aw, you think too much. Just go with the flow.

Suddenly, Pegasus takes off the lime slices and sees the camera men. Fortunately for the crew members, Pegasus got lime juice in his eyes and starts screaming bloody murder. The camera men run off to go edit the footage while Pegasus runs around in circles screaming. Make-up and some other camera men are trying to calm him down. One member pulls a hose out of nowhere and sprays Pegasus at full blast, making him fly into the air like Team Rocket in Pokemon.

Meanwhile, the girls in hut one are sitting outside. Mai and Ishizu are on lounge chairs tanning and Serenity is sitting at a wooden table. Tea is sitting in a wooden chair next to Serenity...

MAI: They can take as long as they want. I could tan for hours.

ISHIZU: Same here.

MAI: Hey Ishizu, aren't you already tan?

ISHIZU: I'm not tan! I'm...no wait I am tan.

MAI: Yeah...

SERENITY: I hope Mr. Pegasus comes soon. I want to see my brother.

TEA: Speaking of Joey, why is he here? He wasn't even qualified to be a contestant.

Both girls shrug their shoulders. While all the girls are relaxing outside waiting for the first challenge, the boys are facing a challenge already...

YAMI: talking to Ryou Ok a little higher.

RYOU: How about this?

YAMI: No, too high. Lower.

RYOU: How's this?

YAMI: No, too low. Higher.

RYOU: THIS!

YAMI: Yes, perfect!

MARIK: That's exactly where it was before!

YAMI: No it wasn't. When you're hanging a 5000 year-old stone tablet portrait of yourself, it is impossible to have it be placed the exact same way.

SETO: You do know that made no sense at all, right?

RYOU: Can we go outside now?

MARIK: Yeah, the girls are probably out there already. What if they hear the challenge before us and get a head start?

JOEY: has a towel tied around his neck Do not fear! The Pizzanator is here!

SETO: Oh gawd! I thought we got rid of you yesterday!

JOEY: Well you thought wrong!

Ryou sneeks out of the hut with Marik closely following him. Yami and Seto grab Joey by his arms...

YAMI: Joey, you're my best friend and all, but you seriously need to leave!

Seto yanks Joey from Yami and buries him in the sand...

SETO: That should hold him for a while.

Seto walks outside wait a confused Yami. Joey manages to get his head out of the sand...

JOEY: The Dimwit Doofus can never be defeated! Wait..."Dimwit Doofus"? Who came up with that name! ((ahem...shifts eyes))

Pegasus finally appears in front of the group with a new suit since his other one just got drenched by the hose. His eyes are all twitchy from the juice and water. He pulls out a microphone as the camera crew get ready. A woman behind a camera holds up five fingers, each one pulled down signaling that they go live in "Five...four...three...two..."...

PEGASUS: looking at the woman What happened to "one"? We go live on "one" don't we? We're live now! Uh...welcome to the first day of S.O.S.! Well technically, it's the second day, but it's the first if you don't count our landing. What's that? I'm rambling? Oh sorry ahem Well I...sort of see...our vic--I mean contestants had a good night's rest. Did you?

TEA: Well I--

AMI: We better get better huts! Last night was the crappiest night I ever had!

PEGASUS: Haha, you said "better" twice! Cause, you said "We BETTER get BETTER..."...

Everyone stares blankly; Mai's eye is twitching...

PEGASUS: sweat drop Right then! Yes, Mai, you will have more furnishings when and IF you win each challenge. But to win a challenge, you must know what it is first! Let's see what they have to do, Johnny!

Camera pans to a random guy with a name tag reading "Johnny"...

"JOHNNY": How the heck am I supposed to know?

PEGASUS: Here's five dollars and one cent.

"JOHNNY": Oh ok, I know now! Um...you have to uh...answer three questions!

MARIK: That's it? Three questions?

"JOHNNY": Oh sorry I mean five. I always get three and five confused.

PEGASUS: pushes Johnny off screen Yes! Five simple questions! What sort of questions do you ask? Huh? HEY! Ask what kind of questions!

Groups: out of sync Uh--What kind of questions!

PEGASUS: I'm so glad you asked! I happen to have them right here in my pocket!

Pegasus reaches into his pocket and pulls out five pink cards with flower stickers on them...

SETO: _Pink_ cards?

PEGASUS: Uh--I ran out of black construction paper and manly...dinosaur stickers...turns around hiding the cards It's ok, little cards, I still like you. turns around to the groups OK! Let the questioning commence!

The groups split up into boys vs. girls. Each member discusses the answer they think is correct and has six seconds to answer correctly. Yes, six, count 'em, SIX seconds. Of that contestant gets it wrong, well...you'll see! ((or read, since you're reading hehe)) Pegasus stands in the middle of the groups with his manly pink cards. He holds one up to read it aloud...

PEGASUS: All right! The first question. Everyone ready? It's really hard now! It may be impossible to answer. If I tried to answer this, I'd probably get it right and you'd get it wrong! I bet Bunny-bunny could answer this question!

SETO: Just ask it already!

SERENITY: Grumpy pants...

SETO: What was that!

PEGASUS: Question 1: What--is your name?

The groups discuss amongst themselves. Tea is the first one ready to answer for her team...

PEGASUS: Ok, Tea. You have six seconds to answer. Don't get it wrong now!

TEA: Ok...the answer is...TEA!

PEGASUS: _Is that your final answer?_

Tea turns back to discuss with her group again...

TEA: Yes, we'll go with Tea.

PEGASUS: And that is...incorrect! We were looking for Tea _Gardener._

MAI: Wha--? That's just stupid!

PEGASUS: Hey don't blame me if your team member doesn't know her own name!

TEA: I'm so sorry everyone! I just totally blanked out!

MARIK: They're gonna be easy to beat.

RYOU: I hope so.

SETO:sweat drop Oh my gawd. Why am I here?

PEGASUS: Ok! Next question: What...is your quest?

More group discussion. Yami answers...

YAMI: Our quest is to save the world!

SETO: No you idiot! To become the King of Games!

MARIK: No it's to protect the world from evil!

YAMI: That's what I said! SAVE THE WORLD!

RYOU: hides behind Pegasus

PEGASUS: Hey, kid, you're cramping my style! And wrinkling my suit! AND--since no one from the boy's team have one answer and have used up their time, they don't get the point!

BOYS: WHAT!

GIRLS: snickering

PEGASUS: Ok the last question...

RYOU: done hiding I thought there were five questions?

PEGASUS: Well there were, but I lost them.

ISHIZU: Then what are the last two cards?

PEGASUS: Um--that's none of your business!

MARIK: Just give us the last question!

PEGASUS: OK OK! I am thinking of a number between 1 and 3...what is it?

SETO: sarcastically Ok, this is just a guess, but is it..._2_?

PEGASUS: DARN! Yes you're right sad face I thought I could fool you, but obviously, I wasn't trying hard enough.

SETO: _Obviously._

MAI: What kind of a question was that! That was a crappy question! Give us a REAL question!

PEGASUS: Ok, why are you so grumpy?

MAI: 'Cuz I need chocolate! That's why!

PEGASUS: And that's correct! But already asked the last question so it doesn't count.

MAI: Ishizu, I thought you said we would win today?

ISHIZU: No, I said the WIND would blow today.

MARIK: Never doubt my sister's predictions.

TEA: That sounded stupid.

PEGASUS: Ok! That ends our first challenge! Tune in tomorrow to find out the next challenge!

The teams go back to their huts. The camera crew pack up and head for their own huts. The girls talk amongst themselves about important matters concerning their stay on the island...

TEA: So who do you think is cuter: Yugi or Duke?

SERENITY: I like Yugi more. Duke scares me.

TEA: Hey! Back off! Yugi's mine! Besides, he likes ME most!

MAI: Now girls, we all know that I am the most attractive girl here so--

ISHIZU: I predict that someone will date you soon.

MAI: Oh yeah? Who? Joey? I hope it's Joey.

ISHIZU: I predict...

MAI: Yes?

ISHIZU: I predict...

MAI: YES?

ISHIZU: No that's it. I predict. That's what I do.

MAI: Excuse me. I need to get my boot...

Meanwhile, the boys discuss their win from today's challenge...

RYOU: I hope we get something really cool for our room.

YAMI: Maybe a glow-in-the-dark Barney lamp!

MARIK: Or a remote-control Tickle-Me-Elmo!

SETO: Or maybe a new hut so I can get away from all of you!

RYOU: Oh Seto! We're your friends. We could never leave your side.

SETO: Someone PLEASE shoot me...

Pegasus walks into the hut with a big box. He drops it into the sand right on top of Joey's head, which everyone seemingly didn't notice...

PEGASUS: WHEW! That's heeeeeeeeeaaaaVY! Here's your prize for today, gentlemen! Enjoy! And be sure to rest up for tomorrow! TA!

Pegasus skips out of the hut and all the way up to his own. Marik and Ryou watch him as he falls going up the hill. Seto and Yami drag the box to the middle of the room, revealing Joey unconscious...

YAMI: opening the box frantically Barney lamp...Barney lamp...

MARIK: crossing his fingers Elmo! Elmo!

SETO: Death! Death!

RYOU: Can--can you do the can-can! Can you do the--never mind...

The box is finally open. Inside is a bunch of foam peanut shells ((y'know, that white stuff for packaging that's so awesome to play with?)) Yami and Marik dig deep until hey find an item...

MARIK: This is it! Our prize!

YAMI: And it is...pulls it out A pair of underwear?

Everyone falls over anime-style...

RYOU: What are we to do with underwear?

YAMI: Wear it I guess.

MARIK: Oh I know. We can sneak into the girl's hut and stick it on their faces!

RYOU: But we have only one pair. We'd need at least four pairs.

MARIK: Um...we'll use the ones we're wearing!

SETO: WHAT!

YAMI: Um, Marik? No.

MARIK: Aww c'mon! It'll be fun!

PEGASUS: Yeah c'mon!

Everyone stares at Pegasus, whom was standing outside the doorway the whole time...

RYOU: What are you doing here?

PEGASUS: Oh uh--I just wanted to see if you liked your prize.

SETO: I outta punch you in the face! What kind of a prize is underwear?

PEGASUS: That's not just ANY underwear. That's a very rare collectible pair of underwear.

MARIK: And we're gonna put it on my sister's head!

PEGASUS: But it's a collectible!

SETO: Gimme that! snatches the item This is garbage! It's not rare! It's not collectible! It's--!

Suddenly Joey emerges from the sand and takes the underwear...

JOEY: I have triumphantly slain the dragon! Now I shall rescue the princess, for I am Freakazoid! ((i miss that show))

SETO: "Freakazoid" is right.

Joey puts his arms up over his head and hands together, and runs out of the hut making "shwoosh" noises. Pegasus runs after him...

PEGASUS: No! That's a collectible!

MARIK: So much for the underwear-gag.

RYOU: How did Joey manage to get here anyway? I thought he didn't qualify.

YAMI: The world may never know.

SETO: I wonder if I can switch over to the girls' team?

Join us next time as our teams face their second challenge!


End file.
